October 2021: Justice and Internal Balance For Collective Healing of Higher Consciousness are Manifesting and the Release of Old Illusions is the theme of this month.
Deeper decolonization, shadow work + Spiritual trauma healing (a-work-in-progress)
Photo by Sage Friedman
Originally published on Medium.
Writing has always been a healing mechanism for internal and inner wound healing. Art plus mixing media has been the ultimate bonus of that healing and is still in progress. I am in the process of releasing old conditioning, limiting and societal beliefs, fears of the unknown, judgments, shame, guilt, and codependency. How about you? what are your releasing and working on healing these months before we enter 2022?
It’s incredible that I’m writing this as if it was just that simple as I’m still in the healing process and I come here when my divine spirit is ready to do so. Timeless, creative spiritual divine guidance ❤ I need to hold space for this sacred healing and not feel ashamed for taking time to rest and heal. Dealing also with recent and unexpected deaths that happened before this month started, and praying for those souls and those families dealing with grief and mourning their loved ones. Let’s be kind with one another as we do not know what other's internal battles are and what they are going through or being through.
It brought memories and old feelings from my mother’s passing away last year. I know everything is for healing and learning but some experiences are very painful and honestly, we shouldn’t have to feel ashamed from wanting to be connected to others and feel loved when we are in pain. There is this toxic stigma that we must suffer alone. It is not true that asking for help, asking for a shoulder to cry on, to just listen, to be there for someone, anyone! It is a sign of weakness and not being strong enough. Just because it makes others or some feel uncomfortable. That’s so distorted and sickening.
We humans are not meant to be here “alone” or deal with all this FU crap from this oppressive and toxic system alone. FYI: We are more similar than you might think. Some people have done so much healing and inner work that being there for someone who is in pain is not a sign of weakness. For us is a sign that you and I are in the same boat.
However, we are dealing with different waves plus currents which essentially lead us back to oneness. Feeling whole, being vulnerable takes courage and complete as we are, through the bad, at this moment in time, as one trying to find the good from your perspective. Accordingly to your struggle or painful experience or situation; without interfering with your healing and journey of course. Together we are stronger and we need to remember this as it is the path to liberation we are all seeking. Unity requires healing and bravery. Balance of polarities is a must during these shifts and transitions. Especially, during the ascension process.
We are one and very connected, why would that change during the times, we know some of us need help, healing, and love the most? These systems are toxic as Fuck, they are failing to respect basic human needs and rights and we need to demand change!
Spiritual awakening and ego death have been the hardest to do so far and I’m still going… I’m no longer seen or feeling my healing plus inner struggles as a weakness, but as a sign that I’m feeling, not distracting, and understanding my feelings and my emotions are valid. Without the need for validation from external and outside forces. This one is the hardest as a creative/educator/content creator on SM. I find these SM platforms (except Youtube, here, Snapchat, and anchor podcast lol :)) as much as we love them, and need them for certain aspects of our careers and work-related. But we do not need to invest so much time in these and forget about the gift of being present in the moment, build real and authentic connections.
Yes, you can connect and build connections through SM, more so now these days. Just don’t forget you have a life outside of these apps and love ones and communities who really appreciate your company and your energy. There is also Zoom, Facetime, wassup, and Google meet that are great to use if you have love ones living far away. Stay connected with those who bring you peace, respect your boundaries, support your dreams, are there when you are low, bring you joy, and unconditional love, it matters. Especially when winter blues start to creep in while we are still in a pandemic surviving inequality and oppression. ❤
There are people who do not give a shiet about materialistic and external BS. Treasure those people as they are rare and have unique spiritual lessons to share with you but only if you are paying attention and enjoy being present with them.
Learn about reciprocity and balance polarity within yourself (masculine and feminine energies we all have, this you will discover as you do the inner/shadow work and will understand plus really appreciate. Never forget that a balanced soul is healed and co-creating with nature, the universe, and God as one) If you do not have those people in your life, it is time to do some discernment and ask yourself why are you more comfortable with fake, egocentric, and materialistic people than being with Real and authentic people? Make sure you are filling your cup (ace of cup) before dealing with these apps. Energy can be taken away too through these if you are not careful. Invest your time wisely.
I am learning that my highly sensitive, empathetic, kind plus warrior heart and emotional self are my biggest strength. Ego is a liar. Doubts suck and comparing plus self-judgment are the thieves of joy. I would have never realized this truth if it wasn’t for going inwards, creating strong af boundaries with myself and others, not seek external validation, feeling my emotions (the good and the bad), being aware, and understand my shadows. Then let those thoughts and deep, dark emotions go and retain plus keep safe in my heart, the emotions that make me feel good. The ones that come from doing good for others, for being creative, for sharing my inner truth and divine guidance, the ones that come from being present with my daughters, my aunt, my new friends, and when I am with myself, alone.
My feelings are my guidance and my body is my map along with my intuition is my inner compass to this journey called life.
Being vulnerable is freaking hard for me. Also finding balance to keep consistent at my own pace has been the hardest to do so far. Finally, feeling that inner self-judgment dissipating as I’ve discovered through healing my inner child plus recent traumas. That my own existence as a single mother of color, mixed-race alive in the most oppressive, racist, and colonial, plus normalized white supremacy city Quebec, Montreal; during these times is a freaking miracle. I’m going to honor and respect my energy and my worth more from now on. And that’s something I’m learning to be but also not be naive and trust more my intuition. It takes a lot for me to trust people. It’s my journey to triggered and be triggered by others. So I attract a lot of unhealed, unawakened, and hurtful people. Hence why I’m living this spiritual experience in this city for now. Things are shifting internally and decided I will go with the flow.
It is a spiritual learning experience and I'm not judging or condemning nobody. However, I need to be clear with y’all, I have a low tolerance to bullshiet and I will distance myself if you are toxic for my mental health, my body, and spirit. Nothing personal, it is vibrational and alignment.
I respect my body, my mind, and my spirit therefore, I’m very selective and picky about who I surround myself with. I love this inner peace, joy, and unconditional love, I’ve found by myself with the help of God, the divine, and spirits. So if you add to this, bless, and let’s thrive as one. But if you take away from any of these, cross my personal boundaries, I will excuse myself and love you from afar. Think of me as the hierophant, Queen of Wands, Cups, and Swords in tarot cards. Upright we are good, thriving, co-creating and in alignment. We respect each other's space, build trust and add magic when we are together. In reverse, I’m walking away after disrespect or violate my trust. I will cut the cords, just like the Queen of Swords if it is necessary. I protect my peace, joy, unconditional love, creativity, and kindness at all costs. And so it is. It took me a lot to get where I am now. Sorry but not sorry. ❤
There is also healing, going inwards, grounding, and build plus balance compassion with ourselves and others. There is so much pain and suffering going on a daily basis that it is a huge blessing when you have a good day. Honor that. Hold space for that. And do not feel ashamed or guilty for having those, as they do come not very often, and we now need to make sure together, make space, or find ways, we get more good days than bad. Although we learn and grow through the bad and feeling uncomfortable.
It has always been good through the bad, learn to turn on your inner light when you need to. Especially when you are being creative or being your true selves, sharing your light with authenticity, truth, and love. But also when being triggered, sadly overwhelmed, and feeling unbalanced. And when to turn it off, to protect it from energy vampires, and low vibrational experiences plus people. I recommend picturing it like a shield or a bubble that surrounds you when you close your light, whether it is for healing or when you are very sensitive and are outside dealing with societies these days. Or unfulfilling work and toxic job environments we all have to do to pay bills. Trust me, use your imagination for this one, have some selenite, clear or smoky quartz, or black tourmaline or onyx near you, get your bag, save and build anything you love on the side, help your planet and others whenever possible, do not limit yourself, and thank me later ❤
As most of us living in toxic and oppressive systems are currently and barely surviving the exploitation and the disrespect of our higher dimensional beings' bodies plus now trying to control not only our minds but more our spirits… exploited plus abuse of our resources from our home, our planet.
The same abuse being done to earth it is being done to us. Do not separate nature, spirit, and our bodies from nature. We are PART OF NATURE. This is why they need you distracted and submissive, by creating separations and divisions plus fears, it is ancient psychological abuse tactics from colonialism.
As start seeds, lightworkers, empaths, Witches, Herbal and holistic healers, spiritual shamans, Asian Healers, Indigenous Healers, and Black-African-Latin-Hispanic Healers. We know that we must heal ourselves first, in order to serve and be healers of others and our planet. Anger, low vibration emotions, and holding too tight to the past do not serve us plus those we are trying to help. We also are aware that we had to unlearn to re-learn from within, learn from our ancestors, our Angels about nurturing our intuition, and understand our inner powers as alchemists, manifestors plus co-creators of this universe; can help heal, create equity and find enlightenment from within…still learning on Earth school.
It does not mean we are perfect and we are better than others. We are equally made of the same stuff you and I; body + flesh is made of. Our souls and spirits are eternal and infinite. Therefore, we are here as divine ones, what separates us is our minds, our bodies, fears, and these FU abusive and oppressive systems we are all trying to survive, shift, change and evolve as one.
Remember, this month of October is for magic! 1–0–1 #1111 #2222
Make sure you are responsible for what you create, spell and manifest as the practice of magic (black/white), use of crystals, tarot/oracle readings, and herbal essence is not a joke and you can really cause damage to yourself and others if you are not careful. Remember, we are in Mercury retrograde until Oct 18 plus 7 planets are in retrograde right now.
Inner guidance and your intuition are always going to help you, but if you haven’t nurtured and worked on your inner healing (shadow work and integrating plus alchemizing it) and your intuition. You are going to have a very hard time discerning from what's real, authentic, and spiritual multidimensional (you need to be ready to hold the light/dark energy with love, compassion, kindness, peace, and joy. If not, you are going to suffer the consequences of playing with what you do not understand or are ready for nor educated on. You were warned) and what’s your subconscious programmed from these conditioned oppressive systems we currently trying to liberate from. (ego, distorted imagination, and fake shiet plus lies normalized).
For example, DO NOT PLAY NOR EVER USE A OUIJA. Especially this month. But knowing most humans, if you tell them not to do something that’s the one thing they will do… So here you go: “Use the game and you choose your own poison. You are your own responsibility, so choose wisely”. Not surprised they sell it on Amazon, but again systems created from evil will always advocate “righteous” their evil deeds. You will be enslaved to this board all your life until your body is no longer used to them, or unless you let demons who come through from this board possess you, and yes they will offer you, your most precious wishes and desires.
They know your weakness is not being mentally, spiritually, and emotionally strong as it is not being taught. That’s why the system stripped from us our ancient knowledge, our real history about spirituality, and the paranormal. To leave us defenseless or so they think we are. Therefore we are easier to manipulate and control not only from the systems but by evil and FU forces. This board game is not a game as nobody who plays wins, only those who control the game will. You will be their slave, they can use to have access to this reality as they do not have it unless we allow them in.
If you already have or know someone who has this board, make sure you find people that can help you release the attachment and get rid of the board. I know, as in my country they have performed this ritual to get rid of it just not sure how it really works. Do your research. There is a ritual that must be done first as you can even try to burn it or leave it somewhere and the board appears back to you. It also punishes you if you try to get rid of it or try to get out of it. Magic, spirituality, and demonic entities are not a joke nor it is a game. Choose wisely how you spend your time and energy. As it might cost your life and your freedom.
See the similarities between this game and the oppressive system we are currently living in yet? Nothing is ever a coincidence. Work on getting out of the matrix or that the matrix works for you. Not the other way around. Stay woke!
I’m always thankful for my mother for encouraging me to write down all that does not make sense in my mind or in my surroundings. Without her letting me find my own inner truth and follow my dreams, I would not be here writing, climate warrior advocate activist, Empath/lightworker/Starseed healer, Artist, single mom, and helping others as I am today. She started without even noticing my childhood decolonization, she was my favorite environmentalist, and she was a natural healer in her own way. She was always very spiritual, she was very catholic and loyal to her Sunday mass and her praying every day until she got sick.
She loved to read and write and would talk about with us what she learned and discover by doing just what her heart, and soul would tell her it was right to let us know and her loved ones. She tried with little as she could to find peace, healing, and enlightenment through surviving emotional, psychological abuse, and a narcissistic environment.
My mother's path was to endure what most humans suffer on this planet but more twisted and fu as dying with Alzheimer's plus dementia is worse than any deadly diseases on this reality. It is unfortunate that because of her death, she left a legacy for her loved ones to never forget. But at the same time, leaving us joyful, amazing and so much unconditional love memories and an inner guide of how to prevent and survive this disease as there is still no cure.
My spiritual awakening began after she passed, she left me the greatest gift, inner healing and peaceful ways to find enlightenment with creativity through adversity with kindness. Helped me get back to listing to my highly sensitive intuitive self again. Helped me forgive myself and others. Build compassion from healing my inner child wounds, hence be a better mother, healer, and caregiver/educator for people with disabilities as also building my own business. She helped me even after death to be who I always was meant to be and she always believed I could be.
Life lesson: We can heal ourselves and prevent anything that can cause us internal pain or suffering as one. Yes we all die and we all will one day from either accident or wtv our path may be. I know that Alzheimer's and dementia can be prevented before we start seen signs and way before we even know we do have the genes. We must start from childhood and continue to have healthier diets, sleeping patterns, regular exercises, mental health support if suffering from traumas or mental illness, and balance sustainable self-discipline with our spirit, minds, and bodies through our life journey on this planet.
Grateful for therapy as it has helped me focus on finding inner bliss; without traumatizing me again by reliving those experiences in order to “heal” as those old colonial therapy practices are so toxic. Make sure you use discernment and follow your heart and intuition when it comes to choosing your therapist. Love holistic, spiritual, Empaths, BIPOC, and out-the-box therapists. They are hard to find! that’s why you should take your time, do your research and work on nurturing your intuition. It’s important. ❤
I’m glad my therapist found other ways to help heal those who are survivors of childhood trauma and abuse from relatives and partners. She helped me understand what good came out of all my traumatic, abusive, and a complete nightmare that was living with people who are fake and narcissistic, plus toxic af your entire life. She helped me discover my dharma plus understand why my soul has been living as a split spirit for so long and where does my pain plus suffering from my mind was originated from. These techniques she used we are still working on them and releasing, as also have ancestral traumas that I’m working on healing which is helping my ancestors as they help me ❤. Most of us do but we are not aware that we carry their unhealed traumas too, every. day.
Spirituality is helping me heal and get back to my true self and my connection to my soul, mind, and body after repressing for so long. Trauma being normalized is so toxic is deadly. As someone who survived suicide thoughts during a pandemic plus lockdown, then later being homeless… I’m still in my healing process as the shame, guilt, and judgment from myself and other people were internalized. In the process of releasing fear, doubts, hate, and jealousy from my last full moon ritual. It has been an ego-death healing journey alright, very sacred and deep while also being going to work, taking care of my kids, helping people, and trying to stay alive as my mind tends to regress and get back into a negative spiral if I’m not careful and keep myself grounded.
The energies are shifting and we are witnessing the reality and matrix crumble right in front of our eyes. Spirit is letting me know we are waking in our own ways and dealing with it as best we can. Proud of you ❤ Be proud of yourself, for standing up to what's right in your heart and your soul. This month is about justice and balance. Definitely, feeling these energies these days and it’s honestly what keeps me going and healing these days. Grateful for you if you are reading this and are doing your inner work/shadow work, are standing up for others who need us right now, are keeping your mind, soul, and body lit plus saving money for yourself, and help others with your grace as abundance is vast and infinite when we share our good fortune with others. Equity = Empathy.
I’m finally seen outside the victim mentality and co-dependency that it is engraved in all of us since we are infants. As it is the exact same thing we deal with these systems, so it is in our daily lives. How we are not all free and it’s a similar reality for those who were growing up and are still living the nightmare of dealing with unhealed, toxic, and abusive family members.
Let’s not forget, that it is not entirely their fault (although healing and taking accountability for their actions it is their own responsibility, let’s not continue normalizing colonial and abuse any longer. Enough is enough.) as these are the results of a fail and corrupted systems designed to keep inequality alive at all costs. Especially, above children and women, because of patriarchy (divine masculine unhealed from childhood trauma and wounds. Their divine feminine being repressed, dormant plus condemned if shown as a sign of weakness. However, Divine masculine who are able to balance their both polarity masculine and feminine, are healed and empowered plus enlighten Masculine. You become your divine true self when these two are balanced. Ying-Yang, this goes for divine feminine’s too) is one of the main toxic ingredient sauce mixes here. Men need to heal that disgusting mentality we have against women and children. This is one of the main reasons we need to heal internally so the shifting from linear to equity systems can be sustainable for all of us and not just some of us.
A note:
Those trying to distort now, sustainability strategies and processes; you highly benefit from inequality, oppression, and your white privilege is showing. If you do not listen to understand BIPOC communities and Indigenous + African ancient knowledge about sustainability, reciprocity, sovereignty, and justice.
Then you are not helping us shift, you are creating chaos and unbalance while those fighting for liberation from what you benefit from, as we do not have the same nor do the systems consider that we should deserve the same treatment or privileges that you have right now. We are living in an unequal, unjust, and FU system. And just because it is NOT happening to you, it does not mean it cannot happen to another person.
Sustainability has always been our way of life, we didn’t distorted or corrupt nor abuse it. The systems you are defending and working to keep it because it might affect your paycheck or your bank account or your stock market bond from companies funding pipelines you are buying… is. All I’m saying is you are not helping us by creating more separation by using what we are trying to defend, but now because “sustainability” is not benefiting you or it’s not trending for you, as greenwash companies have succeeded in screwing up the main cause of why sustainability = circular economy.
However, they choose to lie and again corrupt the meaning of sustainability by NOT implementing in their old business models from the beginning circular practices plus hold themselves accountable. As that’s what you learn from old colonial educational systems (still happening now, just normalized as most abusive and oppressive ways are in this 3D reality) designed from oppressive, colonial, linear, capitalist, and white supremacy systems… Now, It doesn’t work for you, right? Lies and fake shiet are exposed.
Stop blaming the victims and start looking and addressing the real abusers! Yep, the ones you idealized and follow. Because they do not give a shiet about any of us, only about making more money, destroying our planet resources, our health and making more profit for themselves and their billionaire's abuser friends. Therefore it does not mean we should not give a crap about ourselves and speak up! We have us and we need to come into unity with clarity, balance plus heal ourselves. Because we need to TAX THE RICH or start GIVING THEM FINES and take their money and start distributing accordingly.
Please understand collective liberation and new earth mentality is about unity, oneness, peace, abundance, joy, intuition/enlightenment, duality, and sovereignty. Which balancing these takes lots of work, inner strength, and balance which can only be achieved as we are sustainable internally. The system and those in power know this truth and they heavily invest in making sure; that those it is using for their personal gain can never find it or achieve financial stability unless you fit the “status quo” criteria. This is why white supremacy is a disgusting toxic disease and we need to heal and decolonize everything as anything new we try to create, will try to infiltrate and corrupt it.
Toxic is easier to spread, which is why healing is harder to do. _AO
Sustainability is a mindset that we manifest internally to our external reality.
And hell NO! we will not allow you to be toxic and abuse this word just because it doesn't benefit you. That’s selfish and greedy to even think, or worse write a blog or post about it on SM. I’ve been seen it too many times “Sustainability is not enough”, ‘Sustainability is not the answer”…-.- and that’s why I’m mentioning it here. If you see it, use discernment and start observing instead of reacting or absorbing that information. If you are one of the creators of that madness, please educate yourself and correct your wrongs. It shows you are in your ego and still can’t let go of your comfort zone, we are here to get uncomfortable with what was considered normal and comfortable for some and not most. Work on your redemptions as you are subconsciously harming communities without being aware. Thank you. This is a highly divine guidance message. Take what resonates and discard the rest. ❤
The same for those who survive the toxic and oppressive school systems and realized that we weren't taught the real truth, if not fucking lies to keep those who benefit from inequality, capitalism, white supremacy, and oppressive systems comfortable while others die, get abused, murder, suffer from hunger, poverty, homelessness and all kinds of atrocities. So that the majority of humanity can live more comfortably in their own selfish ignorance and disgusting ways.
Do not dim your light for others to keep fucking comfortable. Fuck their comfort and let’s do what we are here to do. Liberation of our minds, spirit, and women plus children. Find our true self’s again, help others and find enlightenment together. Everyone deserves to live a life of abundance, joy, peace, and financial stability. We do not owe these systems anything! Keep playing their taxing and their fees and their fines, or wtv the fuck game. We are done and we know the truth and that's it. And we will build equity, bring justice to the voiceless and oppressed and we will shift plus build circular economies and fight for the land back. These systems were not designed for us therefore we must work together to ensure it does. And so it will be. Ase.
Our shadow selves are conditioned to repress our emotions, repress who we really are because there is already a set of aesthetics, “conditions”, to keep those feeling comfortable in their privileged remain ignorant and oblivious, or worse it’s okay to “pretend” we are not aware, because it doesn’t affect me or serves my purpose…
“Ignorance is bliss” right? That’s the biggest fucking scam this white supremacist, capitalist, racist, and oppressive systems have got away with.
The illusion has been created to embrace separation and division among us, as unity is powerful plus it means we will become self-sufficient and won't need their services or what they offer us anymore…
Like everything we have ever known, as much as we like to praise the stuff we enjoy today. We also have to create awareness and not keep embracing naive illusions as it creates a ripple toxic effect for the most vulnerable and suffering from mental illness. Please be kind as a lot of people are suffering and in pain that you probably will never have to endure. Pray for those people and be thankful every single day, for what you already have. As it is a blessing in disguise. Nothing is permanent, which is why it is important you make sure you are taking care of yourself and then see how you can contribute to help others thrive too.
Sending you all 💕, healing and inner strength. We are going to need it_ AO 🦋🌻
Here is a recent Divine guidance message. Take what resonates and discard the rest. More #realtalk and Angel plus Ancestors divine healing messages we will need for this month of October coming up soon!
In solidarity and sovereignty with you, today and always.
Stay conscious and real,
Love u, AO 🦋🌻
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