So It happened…no more judgment from myself and into others. (Part 1)
By Angie Abreu Olivo. Check out the video on my Angieblog about this day. Publishing shortly soon ;)
Originally published on Medium.
This waterfall was literally calling to me and Krystal. (yes, my canon has a name and feelings :)) that I step out of the group of work friends that invited me to come and forgot to let them know that I was stopping to take closer shots. My photography and creativity are slowly coming back. Shiet, traumas suck.
Worse if you are surrounded by negative, narcissistic abusers and low vibes people and environment plus consider it “normal”. Yep, as painful and traumatic as my life has been; It made me appreciate even more my spiritual awakening. Went into internal/deep work, face my demons, forgive myself and cut it all that does not serve me, and my daughter's well-being this year.
Breaking generational cycles combine with decolonization and using creativity to cope with traumatic and injustice experiences, is a process that has many layers of healing. I’ll be sharing my spiritual lessons journey here (as I’ve been doing along with others coming to collaborate here soon ❤), my channel, and SM. Hoping that my imperfect, environmental scientist, conscious creative, and empath/crystal healer; co-creating life story gives you courage, it inspires you to believe in yourself, your higher power, and for my daughters to remember, that right along being present and enjoying precious moments with them. I also helped others who cannot see that they too are the light through the darkness.
The good comes with the bad as lessons for you, not to you. AO
I’m hoping my story/legacy that I will leave behind of writing spiritual life wisdom, Art/creativity express through storytelling with vulnerability and alchemy healing and following the joy; helps humanity get back into empathy, sustainability, and just, equitable systems once again.
We have done this before, we made mistakes in the past, but we know the lessons now. We can learn from them, and keep moving forward. Yes, it takes work and a lot of energy to work on oneself, dismantle old systems and hold them and each other accountable. However, in the end, it is the necessary work that needs to be done so we don’t contribute unconsciously more harm than good.
Greed and trying to control, manipulate, and abusive behavior towards our planet, animals, altering nature resources without limitations and disrespect, and others were our undoing many centuries ago. It still is, to this day, we haven’t changed in that aspect yet. Taxing the billionaires is a start to build equity. The oppressive system has to change internally so it can manifest externally.
That’s why lightworkers, starseeds, Empaths, Shamans, Light Witches, Divergent, Free-spirit, Psychics, and all higher consciousness rare beings, awaken during this era. There are not that many, that’s why they are rare.
Let me make this clear also for colonizers and white supremacists who read this: You and your ancestors might have underestimated our abilities and power in the past, might have managed to silent us, and continue to oppress those who are already down but not this time. We are warning you to give it up, spiritually there will be consequences. We don’t seek revenge, as we already know what waits for all of you in the afterlife. You can redeem yourself, however, the work starts here. Enough is enough, you have received the messages and guidance as to what you need to be doing. If you are ignoring, still unconscious and toxic af then, you understand the law of karma. And it just of matter of time, for what goes up above, so it must be below. The law of gravity = nature, which all of us cannot escape, just like climate change impacts; no matter how wealthy or successful you think you are “ what goes up, must go down”. And justice will be served. And so it is.
Let’s make another point clear here:
It does not mean that light-workers, star-seeds, spiritual leaders, empaths healers, and highly sensitive people are better than anybody. There is no entitlement here, we are all equal (That competition mindset is colonial and capitalism crap. Let it go). However, these beings have paid the price of karmic debt generational trauma from past lives and this one, made sacrifices, work internally and nurture their spiritual awakening with love (don’t be surprised you end up alone, nobody likes you when you start saying no, build strong af boundaries and cut the cord with negative vibes and people. And focus on yourself and self-growth.) build within themselves equanimity through everything else is happening externally. Still manage to be there for others and themselves at the same time.
Simultainistly, guiding others, inspiring, empowering, and finding ways of liberation for everyone not just some of us. Because we understand that sustainability, abundance, and equity are all of our birthrights. Creating unity, not separation. What creates separation and division is not from God. Is not from LOVE.
In other words, these are the renegades and rebels not accepted by society, my lovely hackers and Gansta educators (you will be recognized and will be set free for your work, I promise. We see you❤), those who never conform to the status quo and never will. Those who got punished, gaslight, and abused for being different or too much. These are mostly highly sensitive, highly conscious, and aware, and most survive all types of abuse that you cannot possibly imagine.
Yet, they still remain humble, loving, creatives, open-minded, and accepted their life mission and journey as to what it is. We are not lucky or “chosen” to awakened and our abilities just randomly appear. It is survival, building empathy, and internal resilience against everything that has tried to destroy us.
Nurturing and healing our inner child and working daily on our own internal bias and our shadows. Doing the work that most feel comfortable ignoring because it doesn’t affect them. We learned to embrace self-love because we taught ourselves how to survive an apathetic world, and use alchemy to re-build within ourselves first, empathy. So that we can use it to help others find their way and start acting from a space of love rather than hate.
Empathy is our superpower and it must be nurtured and nourished daily.
We learned to use the hate, jealousy, doubts, other people’s projections and insecurities, and all negative, alchemize it into good positive energy to co-create with the universe and help others in need. Some might confuse it with “toxic positivity”, (just be mindful of it, someone who is conscious does not need to constantly be happy or positive all the time nor do they feel the need to “make” others feel happy. Conscious and aware people will listen to understand and help alongside you, to navigate through your feelings and emotions. We empower others, no belittle them).
Be careful where you are directing that energy. Because having someone give you positive encouragement and love, but you are unhealed and unconscious, you might take the message as they are attacking you and trying to “trick me” into being more positive. Meanwhile, consciously you know that’s not the case at all. However, if you are unconscious and toxic, it does give you an opportunity to demonize and gaslight that person, (on SM or in public) so that validation from followers, family, or friends, anything external; can give you the satisfaction you seek. Because hurt people, especially if you are rotten inside with guilt, shame, lies and are a narcissistic abuser hurt people. Period. Get therapy.
These rare, human beings, Earth warriors are just like you, they just decided to come back and give it another try. Alchemy and Equanimity are one and when we are whole, healed, and working in harmony with nature. We can really co-create the New Earth and unite together.
By AO ❤ I called it “go with the flow” lol get it? :)
Most spiritual leaders accepted, understand, and are taking the responsibility to do this work daily along with climate and social justice activism. We are one and connected to everything and everyone. The suffering of some is the suffering and pain of all of us. As you heal internally, you will understand that sentence more clearly, each day we are still surviving an unequal, unjust, and oppressive system mentality. I don’t know everything, I’m still learning. But my intuition is highly advising me to write this: When we embrace circular and create sustainable, healthy relationships with ourselves first. Then we will start to see it and embracing it externally.
I decided to build and nurture my relationship with God, the cosmos, my ancestors, Angels, my body, my spirit and connect with my higher self on a daily practice. Asking myself: why do I feel the need to save and protect everyone? Why do I feel this pressure and have this responsibility and mission through my dharmas to help heal the world? What’s a lightworker? And how can I do that work but also use creativity that I love to do too? I love healing others and being of service but how can I find the balance so I don’t burn out or deplete myself? How can I find balance dealing with external injustice as a Latina/black/indigenous single mother, Creative, healer, facilitator/educator for people with disabilities, and spiritual enviromental scientist activist? How can I help to build equity and circular economy that I’ve started through writersyep.com? How can I present my business to partners or investors who only know linear and capitalism business models and don’t understand empathy, compassion, and kindness; as more than just a business, but a lifestyle to help others build equity and mutual funds together? How can mutual funds and financial literacy be included along with anti-racism education in curriculums in schools or available online? How can education change from linear to circular and just, so it can be used as empowerment and generational wealth-building tools to help marginalized and oppressed communities heal and thrive? How can I manifest that into reality and help others build themselves from surviving white supremacy, oppressive and unjust systems?
Yep, there are more questions. But I stopped asking or looking for them externally. Decided to go find the answers from within, take therapy seriously as a child abused survivor, narcissistic abuser's environment normalized my entire life, a world pandemic dealing with homelessness and taking care of my mother dying. Surviving as a single mother while trying to provide and create healthy wellbeing for my daughters who also endure their own internal struggle dealing with oppressive education systems. Then, attract those who will resonate with this Love higher frequency (trying to build, is a process. Not rushing but making it clear for yall.) and connect to help build, nurture, make mistakes (not easy work yall), and embrace change instead of going against it.
Letting go of attachments, the need to control the results, fast pace mentality and the need for validation, the normalization of disrespect and abusive behavior from unconscious and unhealed people because I was afraid of being alone. Which is a common fear we all have and can admit right? Yet, all along I never was alone and if you ever felt this way, you are not alone either. I didn’t understand that until I decided to go within and work on healing plus unlearning to re-learn.
Set my suicidal, depressed, and anxious soul free. It was the best thing I’ve ever done, lost everything but saved my soul and found inner peace, better relationship, and communication with my daughters, and my dharma creativity and healer are slowly, “in their own pace” says the spirit, coming back :).
Gaia has been confirming it but this day through the hiking and going up the mountain; I felt her healing energy more potent. Her lesson to me and now to you reading this, It’s that slow and steady. Heal, and work on your feminine wounds. Feeling our emotions and finding inner peace is key to coexist in harmony with nature and our planet.
Slowly getting back my divinity and pure love while going through my darkest periods, alone. Finding stillness and calm above all else, have made me realized that equanimity is a state of mind and a way of being. It is our birthright and empathy plus love thy self as you do others matters. Building inner peace, staying true and authentic was born from the abyss and darkness I was living in and my abusers unconsciously taught me to overcome. I’m grateful, and I forgive them. However, I will never forget it.
Breaking cycles and old ways it’s not easy at all. So slow and steady also get you where you need and want to go. There is no race. It’s an illusion to compete with each other instead of co-creating and finding solutions together. And I hope by now, you get it, who benefits from you not being aware and conscious of this fact. That separation and hating each other, keeping low vibes alive is what sustains these systems (the matrix). Remember, once you break something, it’s very hard to fix or put back. It’s never the same, no matter how much you try. Especially, if you broke someone that loves you and was there for you just because. Sometimes we hurt people without even knowing we did, and the sad part is, that when you finally realize your mistake… It’s already too late. Heal so you don’t hurt others unconsciously.
Send them healing and let their karma be what it is or what it shall be. We all have to deal with our own karma too. Learn to not take things personally. I’m in the part of no longer caring about the outcome or trying to get revenge. Nah, that’s a lot of wasted energy that should be used for co-creating, healing, talking to God, Ancestors, and connecting with the right vibrational energy of individuals. Live your life, is the best revenge you give to yourself.
By blogger AO. Here is the collection of this day in pictures. You will notice I’m obsessed with Ferns :)
I’m on the journey of learning about forgiveness, taking time to reflect and not feel ashamed for it, and purging what no longer serves this body, mind, and spirit. Working on getting back to being the conscious creative, spiritual activist, and empath healer I was meant to be and inspire others by sharing my work, staying authentic, and build consistency while also protecting my energy. It’s nothing personal, it’s really vibrational.
By AO. I love their grace and the fact that they are from the time of Dinassours and I think that’s magical and cool! So yes, I love Ferns.
By AO. :)❤ Ferns!
I’m more sensitive since awakened and working on my internal/shadow work while also deal with external life reality.
My intuition is more clear since I started being disciplined about my spiritual, conscious creation, and activists practices daily, holding myself accountable and using creativity to heal. I’m also really grateful for Earth warriors messengers, I called them. ❤ You know who you are, I know you read, watch, subscribed, comment, and share my work. Thank you, I really appreciate you.
They have also worked every single day, in providing all of us with the right information. Also, love that they called me out on my BS. Because we are not all right 100%, and we need to accept it and be okay with that and be open-minded to shift perspectives. Especially, if you are unconsciously causing more harm than good. Our intentions might not be bad at the moment, however, actions done unconsciously and not aware of our actions can be harmful to others.
This is why I’m living proof that healing our traumas and doing inner work is vital. In order to listen to understand, hold yourself accountable, work on your bias and help others in need while you continue your life mission or purpose is equally important.
I’m grateful for some of your guidance, as I was mixing facts with opinions.
And my therapist helped me understand the reason why that has happened and how my unhealed wounds and traumas of the present are being repressed, instead of dealing with them and healing them. Manifested in my life, work, and everything. And also how, the victim mentality created blocks and a major lack mentality that kept me in this limbo loop. My traumatic mind, kept me thinking I had no way out. But all along I had the power and the spiritual, divine support plus the resilence built from those same experiences that tried to bring me down or worse, have suicidal thoughts because I thought I wasn’t good enough. I almost let my abusers and oppressors win in my mind.
But honestly, thank god for therapy. (hit the link for Free-1week unlimited therapy from BetterHelp❤. They are 21,000 license therapists and they match you with depending on what you are currently going through. They are very flexible and this is affordable for anybody. Hope it helps.) There is no shame or judgment for taking care of your mental health. This is NOT an ad for you to feel like I’m selling you something. No, I don’t get paid for this.
I’m taking this therapy twice a week and when I can’t afford it, I stop it and get back when I can. I just make sure I saved the money because I want to heal so I can use my healing gifts with clarity, love, and integrity. I’m committing myself to break cycles and generational traumas so my daughters and their children never go through what I and my mother went through.
Now sharing it because I found a therapist that helps me understand my chaotic, over-thinking, and still healing inner child wounds; because I care a lot. I feel it daily and know I’m not alone in this. We all went through a lot of traumas this 1.5 years of pandemic and injustices are still happening. We need to stop repressing our emotions and distracting our pain. It’s not healthy nor sustainable for nobody. We need to stop with the consumption of plastic, the excessive buying to fill the void, or because we are bored or sad…
Like that’s temporary dopamine and only works for a short-term period of time. Then the need to buy again, it’s only a matter of time or when your next paycheck comes in right? How about you invest that money in yourself, save, and work with a professional and/or healers for your mental and spiritual well-being instead? Because for Earth and our resources, it is long-term loss and waste when you buy unnecessary things you know very well, you don’t need.
However, the need to seek validation and acceptance on SM, with friends and families is a much greater pull, right? Yep, that’s internal healing from toxic consumerism that is rooted in capitalism is needed there. Same crap with Alcohol, because you know it’s poison right? It’s even worse than the system benefits heavily on it, therefore it gives you the satisfaction and the illusion that you are “free” but in reality, it’s a distraction to keep you submissive and silent from all that it’s really going on but you are too busy to notice. But that topic is for another time.
I’m learning about spirituality and knowing yourself every day by building self-discipline, self-love, and be compassionate to you as you are with others.
It’s a process, just like healing.
Especially, if you didn’t learn any of this or grew up with people and environments that embrace love, compassion, kindness, listing to understand, anti-racism, how to detach from the negative plus toxic environment or people, self-worth,… I can go on but you get it right?
Healing past traumas, generational and present can’t be rushed. Colonial, white supremacy, racism, and capitalism are the disease we need to dismantle and purge yall. Together as one. No need for validation, our actions will speak louder than words.
“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”
― Robert F. Kennedy
Yes, ALL white people. You need to start being aware of your privileges and see how you can contribute to building equity systems for all of us. Help with LOVE not HATE or using DIVISION tactics from the matrix. Stop helping and promoting the acts of the matrix. You need to understand that your internal healing as much as all of us on this planet, is key to this mess, and we need you to acknowledge it, with compassion and work with us!. NOT against each other.
Those who are not benefiting from inequality, are already down, and so it’s Earth. We suffer, Earth suffers.
Any toxic, ignorance, and silence during the time to help those who are being silenced and stripping their rights while we watch… benefits the matrix (the oppressive and linear systems which are brainwashing us through any source of media) that you remain unconscious, toxic and unhealed.
They distract you with BS so you do not focus on reality. Therefore, keep us all in the Illusion that there is nothing we can do. Especially, those who have enough to give to others, yet choose not to. But hey! Let me use the money that can literally eradicate poverty, and reduce climate change impacts. To build a Dick-looking spaceship, leave the Earth for a few hours and come back and say this BS…
“They are largely right,” Bezos said of critics who say billionaires should focus their energy — and money — on issues closer to home. “We have to do both. We have lots of problems here and now on Earth and we need to work on those, and we always need to look to the future. We’ve always done that as a species, as a civilization.” by CNN Business.
The hypocrisy and the lack of accountability are why we need to learn from our abusers and colonizers. Observe their actions speaks louder than words. Recognize their toxic behavior, address it and accept it for what it is first. Understand your triggers and the fact that not everyone will have the same triggers as you. Healing is different and unique to each of us, just like our life path. We are one and connect yet, we act as separate and create more division which only benefits those who embrace inequality and oppressive systems.
That’s why is important to prioritize your wellbeing and your energy while you are healing.
Go within, pray, meditate and ask your higher self. How your being can help out those in need of your light? Your gifts can help others and sustain plus help yourself as well, equally. You have to believe in yourself and that requires healing and compassion.
We have done this before, it’s in our DNA. Healing and getting back into Earth school of right now, we the collective are working on, Unlearn-to-Re-learn everything. Decolonizing everything. I’ll be doing my part, as I’m healing and back into student mode. However, conscious creative mode and still spirituality Gansta, but going to leave on the website books and e-course to help in this earth journey. My life experience, research, and inner creative wisdom I’ll be releasing soon as well the collaboration with others. Providing value so it can help you all navigate these times, with more ease, love, and understanding.
Healed people, heal people. And that also comes with justice, truth, and doing what’s right for all, because enough is enough.
I’m on the journey of building accessible education, heal and teach others.
[to continue…in part 2.]
