Tribute For Mother’s Day and All Parents During a World Pandemic.
Note #450 … Day in quarantine #58 …Outside of my place: #2 (not without a mask or gloves).
Originally published on Medium.
It’s a beautiful Saturday morning in the suburbs of Vaudreuil-Dorion. Chilly, but promising. Today I woke up and was blessed to see my mother whom I haven’t seen for the past 3 months since quarantine life started. My sister, who has been taking care of my mother with my stepdad, came to pick me up the night before. I showered before leaving my place and we used hand sanitizer before entering my mother’s house.
My mother’s health is critical right now. My family are superheros and my mom’s guardian angels helping her through this very painful, difficult and slowly passing over journey. I’m grateful for being able to see her laugh and be so happy to see me and our family together. We bathed her and fed her together. Shared memories with her, and gave her as much love as we could. The clock is ticking and our time with her is diminishing by the hour. I know she doesn’t remember me anymore, but today my sister asked her who I was, and she mumbled (losing her ability to speak): “I don’t know… but I know I love her”. And that made all the painful things I’ve been feeling over the past few days settle — and honestly, it was good enough for me.
I’m writing this post while she’s napping, because I wanted to remind you all out there, that we must remember, there is only one Mama. If you are lucky enough to have her in your life right now, treasure her. Love her as much as you can. Answer the phone when she calls! Trust me, you will wish she would do it all the time once she stops calling…
This article was written between holding my mom’s hand and using my other hand… on my phone. When you’ve been working on and also being able to master the ability to write, create and keep building relationships through social media for the past 5 years now. It’s incredible what experience, consistency and never giving up can do. So, if you’re planning on starting anything new during this time. Build writing, design, anything creative and work on your personal development. Now is the time. Go for it. It’s never too late and you are never too old.
Grateful for my mom eating today. For moments of happiness, for moments of her dancing and laughing while we give her food she loves. These are hard moments for us. We are just enjoying every last moment and minute that we have with her. Even though she’s leaving us soon and we are grieving while she’s still here fighting, we are praying for her peace. It’s the worst disease I believe; you forget all your happy moments, and your mind becomes your own worst enemy while your body deteriorates a little more each day… It’s really true that you must think positive and beat those negative thoughts, because your own emotions and thoughts can become your biggest enemy. Be kind to your mind, be gentle with what you say to yourself and to others too. It does matter. Mental health matters.
For those that want to prevent getting this disease earlier, because it sucks and we are not as lucky to find family members that can take care of you and all your needs and basic necessities until your last breath on this earth. There are a lot of caregiving people and caregiving places. But these services are very expensive and in Quebec only for 65 years old and over or you get locked up in a mental institution. Getting this earlier is the worst way to die. My advice that we’ve learned through all of this. Prioritize sleeping. I know it’s harder these days at home, and having all kinds of problems and stressors. But I’ve been prioritizing sleeping (which I wasn’t, developed insomnia and working through burnouts before quarantine started and it was getting worse) doing that lately, and has been a life changer. Feel more energy and more sense of purpose and happiness while I work from home, help others and take care of my girls. Save this link page somewhere, if you have heritage history or that you’ve noticed the symptoms but would like to work on slowing it down and building better mental stability around this. Start now. There is no cure and it’s worse than COVID-19…And sleep deprivation is one of the main causes.
Today, I also wanted to mention someone I’ve encountered in an awesome writing group on Facebook, The Ninja Writers. Marla Bishop article: A Man’s Gotta Do What a Man’s Gotta Do — I really resonated with this article. But also I felt the need to remind courageous and brave mama Marla and her son, that she deserves better and much more. This is my response to her article:
Marla I can understand this. 👏💯 I’m doing the same with my toddlers. Single mom, and my ex is starting essential work this week. He takes care of the girls half the week. He leaves at 5 am, though. So I travel 20 minutes by foot so I can take care of our kids and he goes to work. We are good friends and we are keeping our children safe. 💞 Yes we will do anything for our kids, to keep them safe and sane… it’s not easy for kids during this pandemic and not being able to see their friends… so I completely get it. But I’m going to tell you something. I was your son once…. I feel guilty every day but I’ve forgiven myself and my mama too… She’s dying.. she’s in her last few days…not from Covid-19 😔 but worse… Alzheimer’s and dementia at 55 years old… my point is, I was that daughter. When I was younger I would not answer the phone when my mama would call. She would call almost every day, on my travels, when I moved to New York… I knew she was worried.. but I still didn’t answer.. I know… dick move. After living on my own after a while, I started to answer. We would talk everyday and I could tell she was happy just to hear my voice. I remember telling her, “so sorry for not answering” and her telling me, “I would always keep on calling you either way, I knew you would answer..’’ Little did we know that a year later she started showing signs and one of those signs was that she stopped calling. Not because she didn’t want to… but because she was forgetting. So my point is, it’s not fair to you either. You are the mom that gave birth to your grown up son and had to travel all that way because he wouldn’t pick up the phone and you had to go all that way… and he was home… but couldn’t answer your calls… that’s F$@& . So tell your son my story. I wish I had more phone calls with my mom now, I wish she would show up on my balcony and risk her life for me. But now, she’s in a death bed, suffering, waiting to be at peace… 😔 so please, it was brave what you did, but seriously next time tell your son to pick up the phone… And remind him that there is only one Mom. And that can be taken away any moment. Tell him he should treasure a brave and courageous mother that will do anything for her son. Happy Mother’s Day, you deserve a day off and lots of love. ❤️Stay safe 💞
Thank you Marla Bishop for also recommending that I write this for other parents feeling this way. This article is also for you. You are an amazing mama or papa. Parenting it’s not easy and now homeschooling is a different ball game. Trust me, living through it and not easy at all. But, is a process to adjust and you work on it everyday. Honestly, teachers should get a massive raise, day spa once a month and wine on weekends. Either way, Parents you’re all doing the best you can while surviving a world pandemic. Never ever forget that. Our teenagers phase we all go through, will pass. But the goal is not to stay stuck there and grow. Not responding to your mom or dad, will come to haunt you when you least expect it. They won’t be here for long. You were their purpose and they love you no matter what. They fought many battles, they went through a lot so that you (yes, you future generations of young teens in quarantine) can have what you have, and enjoy your life.
Remember, successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles! Happy Mother’s day every day to you and our Mother Earth❤
Here are some books that have helped me while we are safe at home, working and homeschooling my toddlers. I hope they help you too.
Books for kids and Parents during quarantine:
Books for kids: (Toddlers — 6 years):
Books for parents:
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
For New Parents: “You Are Not Perfect!” An Essential Guide by Angie Abreu Olivo (coming soon!)
Stay home, be safe, and be kind to your planet, to you, and others.
By Angie Abreu Olivo -Founder, Creative Entrepreneur and Environmentalist Single Mom. Edited by Vanessa Hasid.
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